Gender and Sanctification: From Creation to Transformation

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This article seeks to understand the relationship between Genesis 1-3, the creation and fall of the man and the woman, and Ephesians 5, the sanctification of the man and the woman in a redemptive marriage context. In order to do this, each passage will be investigated to note any conclusions concerning the role of man and woman. The point of this investigation is to encourage reflection on how the fall continues to impact our relationships and to stir a passionate resolve to let the Spirit of God, the Word of God, and the people of God foster change in our lives.

It is written out of a concern that those who hold theologically to the complementarian view may not necessarily wrestle with the necessary and practical implications of the view. Those who hold theologically to this view, as well as wrestle with the necessary and practical implications, will live with a certain level of tension because there should be an awareness that to some degree we are not living out the call of God on our lives with respect to our gender. Our fallen natural tendencies fight against this. To be holy and restore the kind of relationships to which God has called us we must commit ourselves to be a community that takes our theology seriously and wages war against the battles, which the fall brought into our existence.

The effects of the fall on gender are evident in every area of one's life. It affects the fabric of relationships, service in the church, community involvements, the way one interacts with those around him/her, etc. As a result, there must be a strong connection between one's view of gender and one's understanding of sanctification for the body of Christ to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." The two are intricately connected, and when one comes to this understanding, it will be realized that one's gender is central to the sanctification process.

Genesis 1-3

Genesis 1-3 provides foundational teaching regarding the biblical understanding of male and female. It is important to note initially that the primary purpose of these chapters is not to answer the question of "what is male?" or "what is female?" However, the chapters do provide implications concerning these questions. Also, the New Testament, especially Paul, makes reference to various verses from these chapters on occasion as the referent for teaching on male and female.¹ Because Paul understands these chapters in Genesis to provide this foundational teaching, it is reasonable to conclude that the chapters' implications are important to consider with reference to gender.²

There are obvious divisions in this narrative section, which actually includes chapter four. For the purposes of this study, the larger sections will be divided as Genesis 1-2, the created purpose, and 3:1-17, the impact of the fall. However, within these two larger sections, several smaller divisions will be utilized to maintain distinctions in the overall narrative. To best work our way through the chapters, we will note the emphases from each of these different divisions and set forth any implications.³

Created Purpose: Genesis 1-2

The first section of this article examines the created purpose of humanity as presented in the first two chapters of Genesis. These chapters assume certain points that need to be drawn out as implications.

The two chapters approach creation from two different perspectives with different purposes. They are intended to be complementary rather than contradictory or separate creation accounts.⁴ Genesis 1 views creation from a grand perspective by the awesome, transcendent, Creator God. God is above the world and separate from it. The purpose of this chapter is to show the big picture of creation, so it focuses on the complete seven days and the awesome display of God's power in creation. Genesis 2, however, views creation from a "worldly" perspective by the immanent, personal God. God is relationally involved with the world he creates. The purpose is to focus on the creation of humanity and the distinct role each has in the world that God has created. These two perspectives must be kept in mind as one reads the two chapters so that the complementary nature of the two narratives can be appreciated and properly understood.

Genesis One: A Focus on the Big Picture

Genesis 1:26-31. Four distinct emphases flow from this section: 1) the equality of man/woman (verse 27); 2) man and woman are presented as co-rulers (verses 26 and 28); 3) man and woman together are necessary for multiplication (verse 28); and 4) "man" is the designation for male and female (verses 26-27).⁵

Teaching/Implications: From this grand perspective of creation, man and woman are presented as equal under God, colaborers together in performing the tasks of their Creator. They come together to have children with both having a necessary part in the process. They rule over the earth and all it contains in a complementary fashion. Together they fulfill a special function as overseers of God's creation, and as they perform these tasks, they receive the blessing of God. God is the one who provides for them as he gives them the fruit of the ground for food. God cares for them. This passage obviously portrays the man and the woman in harmony with little distinction between them. The only noteworthy distinction is that male and female are called "man." As Ray Ortlund, Jr. states, "God's naming of the human race ‘man' whispers male headship, which Moses will bring forward boldly in chapter two."⁶ But overall, equality with no apparent distinction is the emphasis.

Genesis Two: A Focus on Humanity

In this passage the focus shifts from the grand perspective of the creation of the world to the more focused distinctions in the creation of humanity. It explains Genesis 1:27, "male and female he created them."

Genesis 2:4-17. In this first section of chapter two, the focus is man and the emphases are threefold: 1) man is created first from the dust of the ground and placed into his home (verses 7-9); 2) man is given responsibility to care for the garden (verse 15); and 3) man is given the rules that are to be enforced in the garden (verses 16-17). To add one item before the actual creation of the woman which is taken from the passage that follows, he is given the responsibility to name the animals (verse 19-20; as well as the woman in 2:23 and 3:20). Teaching/Implications: There is a period of time when there is no woman. Initially, God creates the man and places him in the garden, full of food for him to enjoy. He is to be the sole caretaker of the garden. He is given the rules for living in harmony with his Creator in the garden. Ultimately, he is responsible for caring for and maintaining purity in the garden. He is, and there is no other. As such, God communicates to him his special responsibilities. Later in the story the man, as regent in this garden, provides names for the other created beings, including the woman, demonstrating some level of "ownership" and responsibility, as he rules over/subdues his world. These responsibilities are the clear manifestation of the mandate in chapter one to rule and subdue the earth, only the initial mandate appears to be given to the man alone. He even carries out this mandate with regard to the woman by naming her. He is the one who is initially entrusted with the responsibilities of caring for, ruling over, and maintaining purity in the garden. He is the leader in the world which God creates.

The teaching of this section must not be minimized. Genesis One must be read in light of this chapter. The focus is not male superiority, but rather the responsibility entrusted to the man as a leader in God's creation. He is solely responsible and uniquely equipped to be the ruler in the garden and the world, which God has created. Man could have performed his tasks alone, only it was "not good" for him to be in this state. His task of ruling and subduing would have been incomplete. Genesis 2:18-22. The emphases of this passage are also threefold: 1) it is not good for man to be alone;⁷ 2) woman is fashioned from man's rib; and 3) woman is the "corresponding opposite" to man, a "helper suitable" to him. Teaching/Implications: In the world which God created with all of the goodness in it, it is not good for the man, who functions as ruler in the garden, to be alone. So God creates a woman out of his rib. As such, the woman is uniquely given the responsibility to complete the man as his "corresponding opposite," being a "helper suitable" to him, so he will not be alone in fulfilling his tasks of ruling and subduing. The issue is not one of having another "leader" in the garden but, rather, one of companionship and completing the man.⁸ God gives the man the woman to be his helper in carrying out his tasks in the garden. She is to help him as he leads. He is to lead with her help. This complementary role is the clear teaching of this passage.

The sole emphasis for the woman is that of being "with" the man. Therefore, chapter one's emphasis on the equality of man and woman must be read in light of the unique roles of male and female outlined in chapter two. The responsibility of oversight lies with the man, but he is to carry out his responsibilities under the authority of the Creator and in the context of relationship with the woman. It is a partnership, but there is clear differentiation of roles. This distinction does not denigrate women, nor does it convey that they are less than adequate in leading. It simply emphasizes that the role of woman is different than that of man. Man is to lead the way and woman is to come alongside of him in his task of leading. Her task is to be a helpmeet. She is created for this and uniquely equipped to fulfill this responsibility. Ultimately, the man and the woman will know joy most deeply as they live out their created purpose: man as leader and woman as completer.

Genesis 2:23-25. The single emphasis of this section is that the woman is given to man and they become one flesh. Teaching/Implications: There is a completeness as the man and woman come together, bringing their own unique roles and contributions to the relationship. Man is to care for and provide leadership in the garden in the way that God has commanded, and the woman is to be with him as a completer and a partner in carrying out these tasks. As a result, the man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his woman. This implies the idea that the woman is not just an "assistant" but rather a cherished partner in the relationship, a valued partner who "comes along side of" the man as an equal. They are now one, but that does not negate the clearly defined roles which are embedded within this commitment.

The idea of "one flesh" must be given proper emphasis, especially in light of the common understanding of chapter one's emphasis on equality. The term, "equal," is never used in these two chapters, but "one flesh" is used. Unity of the two distinct roles of the man and the woman is more strongly emphasized than equality. The emphasis is not on two individuals who are equal, leading according to their individual strengths, but rather on two individuals who are "one," the man leading and the woman complementing. The intent in the garden is not to have a man and a woman co-ruling with equal rights, opportunities, and authority based on perceived strengths, but rather to have a man and a woman co-ruling, with the man as leader and the woman coming alongside of him in his tasks based on the mandate of the Creator. Their "togetherness" is not a 50-50 relationship, comprised of two individuals who maximize their effectiveness by focusing on strengths to determine who takes the lead, but rather a complementary relationship with the man leading and the woman completing under the authority of God. Again, the man and the woman will know joy most fully as they learn to live in the manner God created them to live.

The Impact of the Fall: Genesis 3:1-17 

The second section of this article examines the effects that the fall has on the man and the woman. Three issues become important for the discussion of gender from this passage: 1) the failure of the man and the woman as portrayed in the passage is distinct because their created purpose is distinct; 2) God has given the man and the woman unique roles, so it is on the basis of these roles that he will interact with them, respective of their gender, after they violate his command; and 3) as a result of violating God's commands, their punishment, which is commonly one of "difficulty," will be different in that their created roles are different. God has given the man and the woman unique roles, and it is on the basis of these roles that he will interact with them, respective of their gender, after they violate his command.

Genesis 3:1-13. The emphases in this passage are: 1) the serpent's desire to bring about disobedience through the woman (verse 1-6); 2) the man's failure to follow the Creator by living obediently to the law of the Creator as given to him, which is evidenced by his following the lead of the woman (verse 6; cf. v 17); 3) the Creator seeks out the man as his representative in the garden after the man and the woman disobey his command (verses 8-9); and 4) blame shifting-the man to the woman (verse 12) and the woman to the serpent (verse 13)-rather than taking responsibility for one's actions in light of the respective gender differentiated roles.

Teaching/Implications: It seems that in the serpent's "craftiness," he seeks to penetrate the garden and create a rift between the Creator and his creation through the helpmeet rather than through the one who had been entrusted with the rules of the garden.⁹ The man had been entrusted with the law concerning the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and it was his duty as leader to maintain the purity of the garden by ensuring that its inhabitants followed the Word of the Creator. He was the leader, but under the authority of, and therefore responsible to, his Creator. When there is failure, the Creator seeks out the one to whom he had entrusted his Word, the one responsible for the garden and all that it contains. When found, however, the man does not act as the responsible one, but rather shifts the focus to the woman. He abdicates his rule in the garden, both by following the words of the woman, disregarding his role as follower of the Creator and his Word (vertical relationship), and by shifting blame to his helpmeet, disregarding his role as leader of the woman (horizontal relationship).

The woman had been entrusted with the responsibility to follow the man (who was under the authority of the Creator). It was her duty to be the helpmeet to the man as he followed the Creator. When approached by the serpent, she abdicates (although deceived) her helping role by eating of the fruit, disregarding the word of the Creator given through the man (vertical relationship), and by acting independently, disregarding the leadership of the man (horizontal relationship).

The serpent's successful attempt at upsetting both the vertical relationship between humanity and the Creator as well as the horizontal relationship between the man and the woman is important to note at this point. Redemption and the sanctification process seek to restore a proper order to both of these relationships. In a redemptive context, the man is to lead the woman under the authority of the Creator, and the woman is to follow the man as he leads under the authority of the Creator. Together as "one flesh" they can bring glory to the Creator as they live out their distinct roles in the world where the Creator places them. When the Redeemer sees this, it restores the "very good" of creation (Genesis 1:31). Therefore, Satan still seeks to work in way that upsets these core relationships in the world today.

Genesis 3:16-19. In this final passage, the previous implications become even more clear when the Creator issues his judgment independently to the man and to the woman. God approaches the man and the woman differently as he delivers his judgments.¹⁰ He seeks them out as individuals, respective of their gender (i.e., created purpose). He treats the man and the woman in a distinct manner, and in the end they each receive separate punishments, although the specific judgment on each person also affects the other.¹¹ Wenham states, "The sentences on the man and woman take the form of a disruption of their appointed roles."¹² The narrative sets forth the differences of the man and the woman and brings emphasis to the fact that the "goodness" of the natural fit of these roles will now be convoluted in the punishment. The result for each is the addition of "difficulty."¹³

The woman's appointed role was to be a suitable helper for the man and the mother of his children (cf. 2:18, 23-24). Her judgment then goes against the ease of being a suitable helper to her husband and the ease of bearing children. Westermann states:

[J]ust where the woman finds her fulfillment in life, her honor and her joy, namely in her relationship to her husband and as mother of her children, there too she finds that it is not pure bliss, but pain, burden, humiliation and subordination.¹⁴

von Rad states, "The woman's punishment struck at the deepest root of her being as wife and mother."¹⁵ The punishment comes at the uniqueness of what it means to be a woman. It brings for her a life which is characterized by "difficulty." Life is not what it was intended to be. The resulting issue for the woman becomes one of safety. Her world is no longer safe and her man may fail her. This lack of safety makes responding difficult, and it creates a context where she desires to ensure her own safety. Therefore, it becomes important to the woman to do everything she can to maintain a sense of control in her world. Responding requires a level of vulnerability, which she is not sure is good for her, because it leaves her open to pain and disappointment. This becomes particularly an issue in the relationship with the man with whom she contends for control.¹⁶

The man's appointed role was to be the caretaker of, and the one who provided leadership in, the garden. He had a unique responsibility to God in that God specifically entrusted him with the commands of the garden. His judgment goes against the ease of providing food from the ground. He is now "afflicted in his basic role as farmer and food-producer (cf. 2:15)."¹⁷ von Rad adds that the curse for the man "strikes at the innermost nerve of his life: his work, his activity, and provision for sustenance"¹⁸ and brings a punishment which "consists in the hardship and skimpiness of his livelihood, which he must now seek for himself."¹⁹

His judgment is also related to his created purpose and comes against the ease of leading. He is now forced out of the garden and into a world with thorns and thistles and a world that will require sweat. The punishment comes at the uniqueness of what it means to be man. It brings for him a life characterized by "difficulty." Life is not what it was intended to be.

The resulting issue for the man becomes one of competence (in relation to his impact in his world). Will he be able to "rule and subdue" in a world that is out of the garden and full of thorns/thistles and worked by sweat? Will he be able to maintain a safe environment where the dust will not consume him and his helpmeet? Will he be able to protect against more onslaughts from this evil serpent who seeks to lure him and his helpmeet away from the Creator? He is to lead, but the ground and the woman now "fight back," which makes leading difficult. In addition, there is this serpent who may appear again to wreak havoc in his world. He experiences vulnerability as a leader because he is living in a world that fights back, and he is, therefore, susceptible to failure in making an impact. This dilemma, which he faces on a constant basis, seems to be best resolved within the man by abdicating leadership of the whole and focusing on whatever he perceives himself to be effective at making an impact so that the painful consequences of ineffective leadership can be minimized.

It is important to note how the judgments are so dissimilar, yet closely connected to the created purposes. For the man who is "over" God's creation, the natural judgment is for his role of leadership to become difficult, creating a dependency on God for him to fulfill his created purpose. So the ground brings forth thorns and thistles, now requiring sweat to work, and the woman seeks control, now requiring hard work to lead. For the woman who is "alongside of" the man as his completer and the bearer of his children, the natural judgment is for her role of responding to become difficult, creating a dependency on God for her to fulfill her created purpose. So she contends for leadership with the man, now requiring submission to respond to him, and childbearing becomes difficult, now requiring pain to fulfill this responsibility. Now, to fulfill one's created purpose requires repentance, turning from that which makes sense or fallen natural tendencies, and dependency on God. This transformation is necessary to being a man or woman of God, and in part it is gender specific. In a sense, the "difficulty" of the judgment is full of grace in that it makes dependency on something/someone outside of oneself necessary for the man and the woman. This creates a desire for "god." That which each will choose to depend on essentially will become their "god."

Ultimately, the man's decision to abdicate his role of leading, as evidenced by his listening to the voice of the woman, and the woman's decision to abdicate her role of helping, as evidenced by her taking the lead in eating the forbidden fruit in spite of the communication from the man, becomes the present reality of every man and woman. The rebellion in the garden has affected all of humanity. No one can escape. Still today, apart from repentance, the man fails to lead in light of a world which, and a woman who, "fights against" his work in the world. And the woman, apart from repentance, fails to follow in light of a world which, and a man who, is unsafe and may fail her. It is reality.

In these two passages, the judgments of "difficulty" denote the experience of living with something that is contrary to the way it was created to be. When the man and the woman disobeyed, "difficulty" became primary to their existence. The presence of "difficulty" was not intended from the beginning of creation. It creates a vulnerability for both the man and the woman, only it is gender distinct because of the different created purposes for each gender. The essence of vulnerability is unique to gender. The different punishments given to the man and the woman imply a uniqueness to being male and female and encourage further reflection on the fact that God approaches male and female differently. Their created purpose is different and their judgment is different. This creates the context for their sanctification process to be different as well.

Redemption: Ephesians 5:22-3320

Introduction

Now we turn to the role of redemption in the life of the man and the woman specifically as it relates to marriage. Although the main teaching of Ephesians 5 is focused on the context of marriage, it provides a window into the larger context of the meaning of masculinity and femininity. It can be assumed that God's call to the husband is intricately related to what it means to be a man, and God's call to a wife is intricately related to what it means to be a woman. The distinction in marriage roles would naturally be anchored in distinct gender roles. Ephesians 5, therefore, teaches general truths about what it means to be a man or a woman in Christ as it helps in understanding how God intends to "undo" or "push back" the effects of the fall in a redeemed person's life within the context of the marriage relationship. Individuals are not trapped in the consequences of the judgment levied to the man and the woman in the garden. It is possible for a man or a woman to live differently as a result of the work of God in a person's life. In fact, one's adoption into the family of God is to supernaturally lead to such a transformation. However, if one does not recognize the presence of and understand the essence of the failure to be the man or woman God has created him/her to be, there will be little, if any, attempt to change.

If Genesis 1-2 presents the created purpose for humanity with distinctions for male and female and Genesis 3 portrays the consequences of the fall with distinctions for male and female, then it follows that sanctification will have distinctions with respect to male and female.²¹ God's design for male and female will not be lost in redemption. The Old and New Testaments are replete with passages that point to the changes that are to occur as one brings his/her life into loving submission to the Creator in a more generic sense (cf. Deuteronomy 6, Colossians 3, Ephesians 4-6, Galatians 5:16ff), but it also has passages that underscore the sanctification process which is distinct for male and female (cf. Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, Titus 2). Therefore, it becomes important for us to understand the implications of this for the Christian life.

A primary passage is Eph 5:22ff, which addresses the roles of the husband and the wife in light of the position each holds as a result of being in Christ (cf. Ephesians 1-3). The passage is located in the latter half of the book of Ephesians which is developed primarily around the "walk" passages. Chapters 4-6 are the direct application (the life which a believer should "practice") of chapters 1-3 (the "position" which the believer holds). Those "in Christ" are to walk: 1) in a manner worthy of the calling (4:1ff); 2) no longer as the Gentiles also walk (4:17ff); 3) in love (5:1ff); 4) as children of light (5:7ff); and 5) carefully (or wisely, 5:15ff). The commands to husbands and wives are found in the last exhortation to walk carefully. The focus of the exhortation to "walk carefully" is a variety of relationships: husband/wife (5:22-33); children/parents, with a focus on fathers (6:1-4); and slaves/masters (6:5-9). This passage teaches how redemption and the sanctification process is to affect these relationships, including the marriage relationship between a man and a woman. In other words, as the transforming process of sanctification "pushes back" the effects of the fall in the life of a man or a woman in the context of marriage, it will look different for each gender because the effects of the fall have been distinct for each gender. There is a clear distinction in the commands given to the man and the woman concerning the transformed life in the context of marriage because of these distinctions in gender.

Fighting Against the Fallen Natural Tendency

Before one considers the transformational distinctions, which are to be evident in the life of the man and the woman, it is important to consider the distinct fallen natural tendencies of each gender, which inhibit one's living "in Christ." Being obedient to the call of God to be transformed will be difficult for every man and woman because of the presence of these fallen natural tendencies. Every man and woman is fallen and, as a consequence, will battle the natural tendencies that result from the issues which are a consequence of being fallen people, and these fallen natural tendencies will be distinct to gender. The beginning of the battle is to acknowledge the fallen natural tendency for each gender. To remain ignorant of these tendencies and to fail to note their relationship to one's sanctification will result in the impeding of the sanctification process for an individual.

As a result of being fallen, the man's main issue is one of competence.²² That which he was created to be (i.e., the leader and initiator in his world) has been convoluted by the fall (i.e., that which he is called to lead fights back) so he is now vulnerable to failure. Therefore, his fallen natural tendency becomes to preserve the appearance of being competent (i.e., to be viewed as one who makes it happen in his world), minimizing the possibility of being disappointed by his failure, resulting from his insufficiency in dealing with the "fighting back" of his world and his wife. Rather than move with strength and confidence into the world God has called him to lead, he has a fallen tendency to seek to preserve his own life. His focus, contrary to the call of the transformed life, becomes the "I" rather than the "you." He is concerned with his competence rather than nurturing and leading his woman, as well as others in his world. The central issue, a self-focused perspective (the "I" rather than the "you"), has a distinct implication for the man (i.e., securing competency for self versus nurturing and leading others, namely his woman).

This fallen natural tendency is clear in the response of Adam at the fall in the garden. He lacks the initiation and leadership, which is to characterize a man. This is most evident on two occasions: 1) his silence concerning the eating of the fruit, rather than leading under the authority of God, when Eve was tempted by the serpent (Genesis 3:1-7); and 2) his blameshifting rather than taking responsibility, when confronted by God after he ate of the fruit (Genesis 3:8-12). This is contrary to what it means to be a godly man, but it is the fallen natural tendency of one whose heart is turned away from God.

As a result of being fallen, the woman's main issue is one of safety. That which she was created to be (i.e., the responder to and completer of her man) has been convoluted by the fall as well (i.e., she contends with her man and bearing children is wrought with difficulty), so she is now vulnerable to responding to a man who, or a world which, might fail her, making her world unsafe. Therefore, her fallen natural tendency becomes to preserve her safety, minimizing the possibility of being disappointed by the failure of the one to whom she is called to come alongside. Rather than respond to her world with an unfailing trust in her God and be the helpmeet she is called to be, she has a tendency to preserve her own life. Her focus, contrary to the call of the transformed life, also becomes the "I" rather than the "you." She is concerned with her safety, rather than responding to and helping her man. Again, the central issue, a self-focused perspective ( the "I" rather than the "you"), has a distinct implication for the woman (i.e., securing safety for self versus responding to and helping others, namely her man).

This is also clear in the response of Eve at the fall in the garden. She lacks the responding to and following the man, which is to characterize a woman. This is most evident on two occasions: 1) her independent decision to partake of the fruit rather than submit to the leadership of the man, who was to submit to the leadership of the Creator, when the serpent tempted her (Genesis 3:1-7); and 2) her blame-shifting to the serpent rather than responding to the claims of the man, when confronted by God after she ate of the fruit (Genesis 3:13). This is contrary to what it means to be a godly woman, but it is the fallen natural tendency of one whose heart is turned away from God.

These fallen natural tendencies are the way it is (i.e., every man and woman struggles on some level with their gender specific natural tendency), but not the way it has to be. To live naturally (i.e., to walk in the flesh) will result in these tendencies. To never pay attention to the practical implications of one's theology of gender will result in these fallen natural tendencies. However, the call of God should ignite one to deal honestly with the implications of the fall in daily living with respect to one's gender. It should require one to consider how the fall has affected, and continues to affect, the life of a man and a woman on a daily basis.

The Call to the Transformed Life

It is interesting that the repentant life of the transformed man and the transformed woman according to Ephesians 5 is to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church (cf. Ephesians 5:22ff). The redeemed man and the redeemed woman each reflect a part of this relationship. How to understand the relationship between Christ and the church and how it functions is not widely debated. Christ is the head, and

the church is to submit to his headship in all things. He is the one to whom every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that he is Lord (Philippians 2:10-11). This relationship between Christ and the church is not questioned, and it is the clear picture of what the marriage relationship is to reflect. It provides a window into understanding the distinct roles of the man and the woman, although its concern is specifically the marriage relationship.

In its simplest form, the wife is to be characterized by submitting, as in the example of the church submitting to Christ. She is to follow her partner. Similarly, the husband is to be characterized by loving, as in the example of Christ loving the church. He is to lead and nourish his partner. It is clear that the concept of "submit" is primary for the woman and that "love" is primary for the man.²³ This distinction is related to what it means to be a man and a woman. These two pictures are loaded with meaning and would take a whole article sufficiently to address. In short, a godly man (specifically as a husband) will be a picture of Christ loving the church, and a godly woman (specifically as a wife) will be a picture of the church submitting to Christ.

However, it must be noted that the two characterizations are distinct and related to the created purpose, impact of the fall, and resultant issues for both genders. The call is for husbands and wives to "push back" the effects of the fall and live differently as a redeemed man and a redeemed woman. Sanctification has a uniqueness to it because gender roles are unique. From the very beginning, God has approached the man and the woman based on their gender, not simply their humanity. Now, in the work of redemption, transformation will effect distinct changes in the man and the woman. In a sense, it is a return to God's original created purposes for the man and the woman as they live within a fallen context as a redeemed child of God.

However, in light of the discussion above, this teaching can also have a more complex form. In its more complex form, it must be noted that there is a relationship between sanctification in the man and the woman and the teachings of Genesis 1-3. For the man, the call to love can be understood as the call to lovingly stay engaged as the leader in a world where his competency may be vulnerable to failure on a regular basis. The passage clearly communicates that the redeemed life is not about the "I," in this case the man, but about the other, the "you." In spite of the vulnerability of his competence, the man is to make it his priority to devote his energies to loving his wife as Christ loves the church. In a sense, he is to fight for her holiness, laying down his life and nourishing/cherishing her for her good, and to cultivate in his world (i.e., his home) a desire to live for the greater purposes of God.²⁴ He is to risk being a responsible leader, engaging with a woman and a world that fights back. He is not to be consumed with his competence, but rather with his impact in his world, especially in relationship with his wife. The process of sanctification is the putting to death of the fallen natural tendency in the man and the growing of a supernatural tendency to love like Christ. Transformation will be evidenced by loving the woman as an engaged leader who takes responsibility for his world in a way similar to Christ's love for the church.

For the woman, the call to submit is to be understood as the call to submit as helpmeet to the man even though he may fail her, even regularly, creating a vulnerability to her own safety. Again, the passage communicates that it is not about the "I," in this case the woman, but about the other, the "you." In spite of the vulnerability of her safety, the woman is to make every effort to be a helpmeet who responds to the leadership of her man, not taking over to ensure her safety, and to respect her husband as he seeks to lead, in the same way as the church submits to Christ's leadership. In a sense, she is to fight for his honor, following him with her life, and letting him lead, even calling him to lead, under the authority of God. She is to risk being a helper, responding to a man who may fail her. The process of sanctification is the putting to death of the fallen natural tendency in the woman and the growing of a supernatural tendency to submit in a way similar to the submission of the church to Christ. Transformation will be evidenced by her submission as a responder and a helpmeet, who comes alongside of her man.

Living Intentionally for Change

Drawing from my years of counseling and working with people in the Christian community, my concern is that, for the most part, men and women are not seeking wholeheartedly to live biblically (i.e., supernaturally) with reference to the implications of their theology of gender. Instead we are content to live with the presence of our fallen natural tendencies. We claim a certain belief system, but we do not seek to live it out with thoughtfulness which leads to repentance. To live in a transformed manner with respect to one's gender, evidenced by a focus on the "you" rather than the "I," requires repentance moment by moment.²⁵ It is painful in that it goes against our fallen natural tendency as well as requiring hard work. Natural living will not produce this. On some level every man and woman naturally fights against this transformation because each is fallen. One must face honestly the natural tendencies of gender in a fallen state and supernaturally live against it rather than live with an apathetic awareness.

To hold to the theological position of complementarian will require a commitment to daily repentance and a renewed passion to be a God-honoring, Spirit-led individual. My own belief is that the movement toward a more egalitarian position is a result of our own failure to wage war against the effects of the fall in our lives. It is easier to "blur" the distinctions between men and women, rather than engage in the battle required to fight against our own flesh. It is easier to modify a position than deal with the issues that a biblical position will require.

As one seeks to do this, it will create tension in the marriage relationship, because living the transformed life will disrupt the natural tendencies of sin apparent in every relationship. In a sense, the natural tendencies of the man and the woman encourage natural living in the other. At the most basic level, a man may focus on that which makes him feel competent rather than leading with vision and purpose in his world, and a woman may simply take over in her world to ensure her own safety. In the end, the man feels competent because that is his focus and the woman feels safe because that is her focus. The marriage is sound and for all appearances looks healthy, but it is not a godly marriage and thus they both feel empty. It is only by experiencing the transformation of one's gender in the sanctification process, leading to living in the manner God calls a man and a woman to live, that will lead to a depth of joy that one would not think possible this side of heaven.

Conclusions

With this understanding of Genesis 1-3 and Ephesians 5, we conclude with the chart below.

The issues that arise in one's life will vary from day to day, but one must engage the battle which wages against gender and specifically seek to become godly with reference to gender. This requires an intentionality that many people avoid as they seek to grow in Christ. Marriage is a primary context in which issues of sanctification with respect to gender are apparent, and this requires us to be diligent in our pursuit of transformation. Our created purpose, the impact of the fall, and sanctification are intricately connected. We must take this seriously and not just hold to our view of male and female theologically. It must have practical implications and become a major context for growth in our lives.

Furthermore, in formulating a view of gender one must recognize the clear distinctions throughout the message of God's word and hold fast to its teachings. The distinctions must not be "blurred" for the sake of avoiding controversy. God is the author of the distinctions of male and female, and true joy cannot be known apart from realizing these distinctions, which are central to life and the pursuit of God's purposes. To know them and to live them will be to glorify God and his perfect plan.

A Concluding Illustration

To understand the workings of this in the life of a man and a woman in the context of the marriage relationship it is best to provide an illustration of the concepts. Consider this following example:

Profile of the couple:

Man-comes from a strong male-dominant home where vocational ministry is the primary focus; his personality is one of being a "shaker/mover," one who gets things done; multitasking is done with ease; he sees life as "you make it happen;" in most areas of life he is a natural leader and people look to him to lead; he is a problem-solver who brings a lot of wisdom and experience to the various situations in which he is involved; he is committed to full-time Christian ministry. Woman-comes from a strong female-dominant home where strong Christian values were set forth and service in the church was highly valued; her personality is one of a support role, looking to others to lead so she can help; she sees life as "life happens to you;" she is content with the simple things in life and has little ambition outside of the home, so she is a happy homemaker; she rarely speaks her mind, but does seek to manipulate others to her point of view; does not like to be overly-challenged but rather focuses on the minimum, trying to maintain a constancy and stability to her home.

Resultant Consequences:

Essentially, what initially drew this couple together was that they were a perfect fit, in that their sinful strategies are a perfect fit. She longs to latch onto a man who knows what he is doing, one who makes decisions and completes tasks. He enjoys the low-key atmosphere of being with a woman who is unassuming and not driving frantically through life. As they come together, they fill a need in one another's life. She likes the fact that her man is competent so not much is required of her and her world is relatively safe. He likes the fact that his woman is gentle and unassuming so not much is required of him, which lessens his capacity to fail.

As time passes, other needs than those that originally brought them together begin to dominate in the relationship. For the woman, his competency is not nurturing her in the way she desires. He is a terrific husband who accomplishes much for the family, but she longs for a man who will love her, not just take care of any hassle that invades her world. The problem is that his fallen natural tendency is to maintain a sense of competency in his world. He pursues that which gives him a sense of competency. He does not naturally lead in a nurturing way with the best interests of his "world" in mind. He is committed to a hassle-free world where problems are minimized. That is what makes him a good leader in the contexts where he leads. The fact that she may not be happy infuriates him because it reflects on his not "doing a good job." He must work harder to make her happy by making her world better. He does not enjoy her challenges to their relationship or any mention that she needs more. To just sit and become better friends so he can hear her heart, as she desires, does not seem like a productive thing to do. He is actually bored with the "petty" things she wants to discuss. If there is a problem, just fix it. What makes it even more difficult is that she is not very adept at sharing from the depths that she wants her man to pursue. She is guarded, yet demands that he "just know." His own needs begin to dominate, and he initiates less and less with his woman. She is a bottomless pit. He begins to demand that she see life from his point of view, which is actually a demand to let him be the way he is. Essentially, this is a refusal to be transformed.

For the man, her gentleness and unassuming nature is not engaging him in the way he desires. He longs for a woman who will respond to him and his needs, not simply do what she thinks he needs. The problem is that her fallen natural tendency is to do what she can to maintain the constancy/stability of her home. She pursues that which makes her world safe. She does not naturally respond to his leadership and respond to his initiation, doing all she can to encourage his masculinity and follow him as he follows the Lord, being a complement to his "world." She is committed to a good wholesome environment where those in her world are properly cared for. That is what makes her a good mother/wife in her home. The fact that he may not be happy infuriates her because it reflects on her not having a stable, safe home. This just makes her world unsafe, and she dislikes his unhappiness. Her own needs begin to dominate her thinking, and she responds less and less to her man. He is not safe. She begins to demand that he see life from her point of view, which is actually a demand to let her be the way she is. Again, essentially, this is a refusal to be transformed.

What they long for in one another, God calls them to actually give to one another. God's call on the man and the woman in the context of the marriage relationship is for them to relate as a man and a woman in such a manner that joy will result. It is a call back to the created purpose of man and woman. God created man and woman to be a perfect fit if only the man and the woman live out their created purposes, which is now only fully possible in a redeemed context. The route to this requires repentance concerning the natural tendencies of the fall. The man and the woman in this relationship are confronted with two main options. They can remain in their state of demand and set up some "ground rules" that will make a stable marriage possible. Or they can begin the process of allowing transformation to take place in the core of their being (i.e., allowing for and intentionally pursuing the sanctification of their respective gender). Obviously, the second option is the preferable option.

The man needs to repent of his commitment to a hassle-free world, as a result of his problem-solving abilities, and commit himself to a transformed focus on his wife. He is to live for her sanctification, creating a context where she is being nurtured into a godly woman who responds to life in the way that God has called her to respond, fulfilling her role as a woman. He is to cultivate a context where her heart becomes more free to give. This requires him to understand her fears of an unsafe world and to lead her to embrace her vulnerability while responding to his lead. Her fears are not an attack on his competency. He is to nourish her. To do this will require a daily recognition of his stubborn commitment to ensure his own competency, avoiding failure at all cost, and his failure in his role of initiating/leading, resulting in repentance, as well as a recommitment to live with a focus on nurturing her as his completer.

The woman needs to repent of her commitment to a safe world, as a result of her efforts to provide for those around her that which she thinks they need, and to commit herself to a transformed focus on her husband. She is to live for his sanctification, responding to his leadership even though he may fail her so that he is required to lead as God has called him to lead, fulfilling his role as a man. She is to refuse to take over to ensure her safety, but rather follow him as he leads. This requires her to understand his fears of failing as a leader and to encourage him to embrace his vulnerability and initiate in his world. She is to honor him. To do this will require a daily recognition of her stubborn commitment to ensure her own safety in a manner that disregards his leadership and her failure in her role of responding, resulting in repentance, as well as a re-commitment to live with a focus on responding to him as leader.

Of course, the issues that arise in one's life will vary from day to day, but one must engage the battle which wages against gender and specifically seek to become godly with reference to gender. This requires an intentionality that many people avoid as they seek to grow in Christ. Marriage is a primary context in which issues of sanctification with respect to gender are apparent, and this requires us to be diligent in our pursuit of transformation. Our created purpose, the impact of the fall, and sanctification are intricately connected. We must take this seriously and not just hold to our view of male and female theologically. It must have practical implications and become a major context for growth in our lives.

Furthermore, in formulating a view of gender one must recognize the clear distinctions throughout the message of God's word and hold fast to its teachings. The distinctions must not be "blurred" for the sake of avoiding controversy. God is the author of the distinctions of male and female, and true joy cannot be known apart from realizing these distinctions, which are central to life and the pursuit of God's purposes. To know them and to live them will be to glorify God and his perfect plan.

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