The Wildman Transformed: The Thin Veneer of Men's Ministry

Christian history documents many instances of "Christianizing" secular events. Easter was originally a Pagan festival and is increasingly more and more like its heathen original than anything "Christian." Likewise, Christmas, outlawed by the Puritans in a great display of prophetic insight, has long since reverted to a celebration of sheer materialism. When Christians ride on the coattails of any secular movement or event, we always run the risk of having that movement's origins return to haunt us.

You can just imagine a spectator at Cardiff Arms Park in Wales describing the atmosphere before a Wales/England rugby football match: "...We held hands and sang our hearts out. Praising what God had made, thousands of happy faces - men of all backgrounds - united in one song ‘Bread of Heaven... feed me now and evermore....' I felt a great sense of encouragement being with these men. I thought, despite the difficulties... we will prevail...."

It is somewhat disturbing to see how this proclamation sounds so much like a Promise Keepers rally might sound.

The men's movement in society has sprung out of a series of social changes, and Christian work among men has also been given a strong push by those same develop-ments. It is important that we think clearly about those changes and the origins of the secular movement, to make sure we are being faithful to God when we minister to men. We don't want a christianizing of the Wildman - that primitive, tribal man some pagan men's movements try to capture - we want lives changed by the power of God's Spirit. We want to see the Wildman transformed into God's man.

I am not just throwing stones from the sidelines. I have, and will retain, a deep involvement in ministry to Christian men. Our Lord commands it, and I have marveled at His work in the hearts of thousands of men. However, I want to offer words of warning and counsel. We need to build our ministry to men on the lasting Rock of Jesus Christ and God's Word. We must resist being influenced by a transitory social phenomenon. The rugby quote above could be referring to a successful Christian men's meeting. But after reading the source, it becomes apparent that it is a very different type of fellowship. How do we take hold of the opportunities to minister to men today, without being hijacked by the secular agenda of the men's movement?

The Secular Men's Movement

The men's movement that has emerged in many countries since the Seventies has not been a single unified development. Rather, it consists of several divergent branches, each of which spring from a common origin: the changing role of women in society. As women began to leave the home and enter the workforce, men found themselves increasingly challenged to define their own manhood.

Men were left without a sense of calling as the cultural supports of biblical manhood were removed ("Dad's job is to provide"). Thrust into a world that no longer supported, but rather attacked, the identity of men, many turned to various secular "men's movements" for help. Sensitive New-age stockbrokers, divorced construction workers, homosexuals, herbal healers and super-fit footballers are all members of this movement, each having a very different agenda.

The Wildman Strand

One of these groups, the "mythopoetic" strand (personified by the writer Robert Bly), has received a lot of publicity for its "Wildman" theories. Men beating drums in the backwoods on weekend retreats makes for good copy, and there has been media coverage in abundance. In fact, for many people, this is the men's movement.

The Men's Liberation Movement

Another group is the "Men's Liberation" strand which stands in direct opposition to the Feminist movement. These are angry men, usually divorced or separated. Their activism can be seen in court battles for fathers to have the same child custody rights as mothers. The size of this strand is very large; some have estimated that 50 percent of those involved in the men's movement in Australia are divorced or separated.

S.N.A.Gs

The members of the "Men's Liberation" group are the direct opposite of the third strand, the sensitive New-age guys (S.N.A.Gs). This group is usually pro-feminist, pro-gay rights, and paradoxically, pro-fatherhood. It is precisely at the point of fatherhood where they believe many of their problems started. The group is filled with baby-boomers who grew up with remote fathers and now desire to be reconnected. These men rebelled as teenagers and want to experience a prodigal-like reunion with their fathers. A mid-life crisis, a yearning for their youth, and the hollowness of materialism all push these men to search for their identity in the men's movement.

Looking Inward

Whether "mythopoetic," "Men's Liberationists," or S.N.A.Gs, each group has this in common: they all seek to find masculinity outside of Christ. Despite their apparent differences, each of these groups look inward for the solution. This inward look promises healing of estrangement from their fathers. This inward look holds out the hope of New-age "connectedness" with the "Wildman" past, or "getting in touch with one's feminine side."

Yet, the heart is deceitful above all things (Jer. 17:9). These men don't realize that true masculinity can only be found in Christ. Looking inward they will not find what they are seeking. Not that there aren't significant things to be gained for them in the men's movement. Like all good post-war men, they are consumers, looking for what they can get. They often look longingly at women-to-women relationships; the men's movement promises that same kind of intimacy. Men's groups also give them a sense of belonging and support they can find nowhere else. They gain advice on handling the stresses and strains of modern life and being a good parent (the secular men's movement would prefer this gender-neutral term) more readily and more reliably from these kind of meetings than from any bar stool. As well, these men have often rejected the stoic "real men don't cry" attitude of their fathers' generation, and have found that the cathartic release of emotion feels good. I'm sure beating a drum in a steamed-up tent sounds attractive compared with watching re-runs on television.

The Church, often caught in the compromising position of following culture, rather than leading it, has seen a parallel boom in men's gatherings. These meetings are ostensibly "Christian." But in reality, they are only the secular overlaid with a Christian veneer. The Promise Keepers and hundreds of other men-only ministries have flourished because the conditions are right: men are looking for something more. I don't decry this. It is an opportunity Christians should seize. If secular society asks, "Is that all there is?" we should answer with a resounding "NO!" However, we must remember that our answers are radically different from those being given by the men's movement gurus. We cannot overlay the secular men's movement agenda with a Christian veneer. We have to build a Christian men's movement from the ground up.

Christian Men's Ministry

In essence, ministry is ministry, whatever group you are trying to reach. Christ must be proclaimed and God's Word taught to all types of people. Though it can be done in many different ways, the basics are the same. However, I want to give three specific recommendations about ministry to men: it must emphasize male fellowship, it must have biblical integrity, and it must emphasize love towards our brothers and families. Though meeting in men-only gatherings is not the only way to minister to men, I contend that it is one of the best. In these settings, pastors can be more direct with their language, speaking specifically to men about where they really live and move and have their being. Men will be more open and res-ponsive when their wives are not around. They can talk frankly about their failures, and recommit themselves to godly goals. This male-only fellowship is indispensable for a Christian men's ministry.

On the down side, men are very good at intellectual-izing matters and talking in the abstract, which is often an attempt to avoid dealing with the real issue. Men must be called upon to stop this and to deal with reality. Are we growing spiritually? Are we being good stewards of our time and our money? Are we loving our wives? Are we providing for our families? Are we spending large amounts of time with our children? Ephesians 5 sums up the main thrust of what needs to be emphasized constantly.

The exhortation on these topics must come from a solid doctrinal foundation, something that is not always present in some ministries to men. Emphasizing truth over emotion is distinctively manly. We do not promote a vague spirituality, but rather believe in the basic truths of the historic Christian faith as revealed in God's Word. We need to call on men who have forsaken their first love to stop being lovers of self and lovers of money and begin again to love God, their families and their churches. And we need to call each other back to these basics again and again.

Conclusion

I once read a book in which a Christian psychologist dissected the conversion experience, and pointed out the common elements between a conversion to Christianity and becoming, say, a communist. He went through all the similar psychological elements: the honeymoon, the finding of people with common interests everywhere, and the overwhelming desire to talk about new-found belief systems. When I read it, I was very edgy. The author was describing my con-version experience, saying it would have been similar if I had been converted to Marxism. By the end of the book, I was forced to reexamine the object of my faith. Was it faith in my "experience," in my conversion, or in all the little coincidences? Even granting that these are God-given, my faith does not rest in them, but in the God who is there and in His Son Jesus Christ. Likewise, just because men are meeting together and sharing doesn't make it particularly Christian. Remember, you can get a similar type of experience in the bleachers at a football game.