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Phillip R. Bethancourt
In an age of abortion-on-demand and home
DNA paternity tests, accidental fatherhood is not
a new idea. But what about an accidental guide
to fatherhood? That is precisely what best-selling
author Michael Lewis seeks to offer in his book
Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood.
Lewis has written on the economics of banking
(Liar’s Poker) and baseball (Moneyball), but this
time he focuses on the economics of the home.
In Home Game, Lewis adapts articles written
online for Slate magazine and weaves a tale of the
experience of the American dad. He chronicles the
eventful and, at times, overwhelming task of raising
three children with his third wife, former actress
Tabitha Soren. Though Lewis is a secular author,
and the work contains some vulgarity in both its
word choice and its subject matter, Home Game
offers a window into the common American male’s
view of fatherhood that can help evangelicals eval-
uate the status of fatherhood in the church.
Several themes that shape Lewis’s portrayal of
American fathers can frame an appraisal of evan-
gelical fatherhood. First, Home Game presents a
noticeable, though inconsistent, pro-family mes-
sage. The pro-family nature of the work should
come as no surprise considering that Lewis penned
the adoption-friendly book Blind Side, which later
became a hit movie. Lewis recognizes that raising a
child “especially when you don’t want to, is transfor-
mative” (78). Yet, Lewis is pro-family in the same
way many evangelicals are pro-life—enamored
with the abstract theory but inconvenienced by the
daily reality. As churches continue to develop men
as godly fathers, it is essential for them to instill the
importance of consistency in this high calling.
Second, Home Game wrestles with the great
expectations cast on the current generation of
American dads. Lewis regards the present as the
“Dark Age of Fatherhood” in which no established
standard of behavior exists (10–11). Fathers endure
a “persistent and disturbing gap” between what they
are supposed to feel and what they actually feel
about fatherhood (14). The result for many fathers,
including Lewis, is that they respond to increased
expectation by feeling bitter rather than blessed.
Though expectations may shift in the culture, the
Bible presents Christian fathers with an unwaver-
ing call not only to see fatherhood as a blessing but
also to love their children as their heavenly Father
loves them.
Third, Home Game reveals the guilt that
accompanies contemporary fatherhood. Lewis
races to the hospital as his three-month-old son
fights for his life, and he is ravaged with guilt as
he realizes he has changed only seven out of 600
diapers and skipped over 600 “daddyless” meals
(156–57). Throughout the memoir, guilt serves as
a primary motivation for his efforts at fatherhood.
Yet, it raises the question, how many fathers in
our churches are driven by guilt more than grace
in their approach to fatherhood? Gospel-centered
parenting must not be grounded in the guilt of fail-
ing to meet expectations but in the grace of being
united with our victorious savior.
Fourth, Home Game evidences the immaturity
and passivity that impoverishes the leadership of
many fathers. As Lewis laments the pressure for
adults to have a defined purpose in life (24), he
shows how fatherhood is at odds with the pursuit
of perpetual adolescence glamorized in Hollywood.
At the same time, he touts his passivity as a “gift
for avoiding unpleasant chores without attract-
ing public notice” (9). The allure of male passivity
is as old as Eden itself. For evangelical fathers to
lead and provide for their families, they must resist
the temptation toward the culturally-permissible
immaturity that Lewis exemplifies in his fathering.
Fifth, Lewis criticizes the consumeristic
American parenting sub-culture. In addition to the
relentless attempt to market products to paranoid
parents, he notices a tendency in parenting litera-
ture to “gloss over the unpleasant aspects of parent-
hood” (66). Furthermore, he claims that “experts on
child rearing, and books on fatherhood” fill the void
whenever life experience is not shared between
generations (187). Implicit in these statements is a
refreshing call to the church to address the issue of
fatherhood as a central aspect of male discipleship.
When wisdom about fatherhood is passed down
between generations, it can help to keep evangeli-
cals from outsourcing the raising of their children.
The primary benefit of Home Game is not a
Hebrews 12-like guide to godly fatherhood but a
Romans 1-like insight into the common cultural
mindset towards child-rearing. Those who read
Lewis’s book will not only laugh out loud at his
portrayal of parenting situations all of us have faced
but also despair at his impoverished view of father-
hood. Though Home Game lacks some of the inten-
tional insight found in Lewis’s other writings, it
raises helpful issues for evangelicals to reconsider.
In the end, it reminds the church of its call to raise
up men to lead, provide, and protect so that father-
hood is no accident.
