Why do we use the term Complementarian?

What do we mean by the term complementarian? We're glad you asked.

In an issue as important as God's design for men and women, defining the terms is critical to clarifying opposing positions. For some who may yet be undecided in these matters, such clarity might be the means of resolving the matter in a way that increases their joy in God's design and thereby brings him glory.

The term complementarian was coined by Wayne Grudem and the other founders of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood to capture the Bible's teaching on the equal value, but different functions of men and women in God's created order. God designed both women and men to be fully human and therefore fully equal. At the same time both reflect God's image in very different ways, such that neither is sufficient to portray fully the magnificence of God. The sexes complement each other.

For instance, we see this idea of complementarity in Ephesians 5:21 and its application to human marriage. There Paul says we all are to be "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." He goes on to show how the way a wife should submit is markedly different from the way a husband should submit. A wife's submission chiefly means respect for her husband's Christ-like leadership (v.22). On the other hand, a husband's submission chiefly finds expression in that very sacrificial, loving leadership (v.25).  Christ, as the husband of the Church, submitted himself in sacrificial love to the Church.  And the Church, as Christ's Bride, submits to his humble, loving leadership over her.  This is biblical complementarity in action.

Another term that helps to fill out the complementarian position is patriarchy.  Often this term is used pejoratively.  However, when it is used in its biblical sense, referring to God's loving fatherhood over us, we strongly embrace it. Any humble, loving headship that an earthly father exerts, he does so reflecting God, our heavenly Father. This is an important definition to clarify, because we reject any notion of patriarchy that says a husband is superior to his wife, or rules women by virtue of his ancestry. 

Sometimes the complementarian view is confused with the traditionalist view.  That is an unfortunate mistake.  Traditionalists are those who stand to benefit from keeping things just as they are: status quo. Traditionalism often arises out of a self-serving slothfulness that sees no need to do the hard and humble work of cultural challenge and biblical exegesis.  There are traditionalists on both sides of the gender debate. We reject this view and are pleased to find that many of our counterparts in the evangelical egalitarian position do as well. The only traditions we seek to uphold are those biblical ones of which the Apostle Paul speaks in II Thessalonians 2:15, "So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter."

If you would like to know more about the complementarian position you may wish to read Piper and Grudem's Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood or this helpful Summary by Dr. Bruce Ware on the two key terms in the gender debate. Tomorrow, I will take a look at the meaning of the counterpoint position evangelical egalitarianism.