She Does Him Good (even before she meets him), Part III

(NOTE: Gender Blog presents the final part of Kim Davidson's excellent reflectoins on Proverbs 31)

10. Kindness.

Prov 31.26: “The teaching of kindness if on her tongue.” I want this to be said of me. That means, that I need the Lord to mold this in me, to burn this word in me and my actions. I am not there yet. The sanctifying work of the Spirit must keep working. Are you kind? Are you affectionate and loving? This doe not always come easy for me. I really need to enter into every conversation or social setting praying these things: Lord, how can I impart your love and grace to people who I encounter right now? How I can show this in my when people enter and stay? Daily. This is a daily, hourly process.

11. Self-Control.

1 Timothy mentions this. Clearly a mark of a woman who loves the Lord. Whether it is in our spending habits (how much debt have we accrued in our singleness), in our showiness of clothes or possessions, or how much we weigh, how much time we spend watching television or other useless activities. All these have a base in self-control. I’ve struggled with all of these. God is gracious. He turns me back to Himself to see where I have made a god out of these instead of having Him be LORD of everything in my life. Are you one of those women who think I need to get everything, eat everything, live how I want to live now because once I get married I won’t be able to do that? Or, no one is seeing me naked now so what does it matter what I look like or how much flab is on me? God is your creator and made you for HIMSELF. He loves us. That should motivate us to live a life worthy of Him out of a heart full of grace. So…what needs to change in your life in this area? Do you need to cut up credit cards. Personally – I can’t have one because I don’t deal well with that temptation. Do you need to lose weight? I do and have purposefully been working on it for 3 years. It is daily. Do you need to have someone hold you accountable for any of these areas? Find a godly woman in your church or area that will invest in your life and pour Scripture and healing words over these concerns. Live for God’s glory in this.

12. Fruitful.

“Prov 31.30: Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” To all of this we say “not to me, but to Jesus.” Have you seen fruit come from your singleness? I think back to many years ago when I was in a relationship that was heading toward marriage. I’m so grateful God saw otherwise. I would never have been able to teach college girls for 3 years, I would never have moved to Louisville to work for a great seminary and organization, I would never have traveled around the world to love on missionaries and see the hopelessness in Muslims who don’t know Him, and I would never have had the opportunity I have now in my current job. God is so gracious. I have seen fruit. But, not for my glory – but all for HIS. Are you wasting your time in your singleness or are you investing it for the kingdom?

13. Fears the Lord.

“Prov 31.25, 30: Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” If all of these (1-12) were accomplished in our lives and we skipped 13 – our lives would be in vain. No amount of good works or obedience will get us anywhere. I watched Les Miserables last night. At the end, the Inspector says “I’ve tried to live my life without breaking any law.” Such sadness is in this statement, such emptiness. Our lives are not measured by good deeds. My life is measured by a Cross. My life is meaningful because of the gospel. I can obey out of the response of past grace in light of future grace. He has taught me much about trusting in Him and His timing the past almost 4 years now. He is good. He is gracious. He is enough.

As you continue to live our your life (whether single or married) may you do so with purpose and obedience and grace and hope. We don’t obey so we may be blessed – we obey because we have grace and have been offered hope and love at the cost of His Son. May our lives reflect this love and grace and gospel so the Word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2.5)

Visit Kim Davidson's blog at http://kimddavidson.wordpress.com/