Q&A with Jani Ortlund, Part 1

 Jani Ortlund is a mother, pastor's wife and former school teacher. She is also the author of Fearlessly Feminine: Boldly Living God's Plan for Womanhood. Gender Blog recently sat down and interviewed her on issues of femininity and biblical womanhood. Her husband, Ray Ortlund, Jr., is a noted pastor and author. The Ortlunds live in Nashville, where Ray serves as pastor of Immanuel Church.

Gender Blog: What led you to write your book, Fearlessly Feminine?

Jani Ortlund: My love for women and my concern for when we were headed in those days-and that was in the late-90s. My daughter was reaching adulthood and my three sons were looking for women to marry. I was concerned that women were losing their way as women; they weren't appreciating femininity, they weren't enjoying that God had made them a woman and they were fighting for things that might be wasted energy. We only have so much energy—physical, spiritual, emotional energy—why not devote them to the things God calls us to do as women? I also wrote it for myself because I tend to be a little bit fearful. When I come up against a barricade my first response is not always faith and saying, "Wow, now I get to see what God will get to do in a situation." Oftentimes, it's, "Oh no, not now." I found myself fearful about different things and I think women do struggle with fear, yet femininity calls us not to. It calls us to be brave, courageous, strong, wise, embracing all that God has for us as women.

GB: How would you define femininity?

Ortlund: Femininity and masculinity lie at the very core of humanity. God created us male and female, so if I don't understand the difference, it is very hard for me to embrace my own uniqueness. John Piper really helps me with this. He says this: At the heart of true femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships. I take those three words—affirming, receiving and nurturing—as the core of femininity. I affirm those around me. I receive leadership willingly, lovingly, joyfully. I receive others into my sphere, into my home and then I nurture them. From conception all the way through life, we as women are to be nurturers. So that to me is at the core of femininity. Beyond that, throughout all of Scripture, God paints for us a picture of what a woman looks like. From Eve all the way through the book of Revelation, we see women and he says, "This is the kind of woman I honor and lift up and this is the kind of woman I discipline"' I want to be on the honoring side, so I look to Scripture for that.

GB: How does fear play into living out womanhood for a single woman?

Ortlund: It's really strange. We fear being single and we fear being married. We fear infertility and then we fear child birth. We fear having a baby, but then fear them growing older into teenage years. Then we fear widowhood and then we fear living forever with this man. We fear financial insecurity, but we fear going out into the marketplace and earning money. Our lives are full of fear and I really think it eats at the core of our relationship to God. We find it almost threatening to our femininity to trust God. Think of Eve. The very first conversation there in the Garden of Eden where Satan sits on her shoulder and says, "Did God really say?" and he calls all of God's words into question and that's where our fears start: "Did God really say?" I can tell you that I trust in God, that He is sovereign, that He is all-powerful, but when I lay my head down on the pillow at night, if my last thought is, "How am I going to pay that bill tomorrow?" then I am not really trusting Him at the heart level. It's just a head-knowledge. That's why the subtitle of my book is "Boldly embracing God's Plan for Us." It's more than just head knowledge. That fear starts in the heart, where we are wondering, Will I be protected? Will I be cared for? Can I make it? Is it worth it? What does it mean to be a woman? Can I truly take Scripture at face value and look at these real words, words like sin, redemption, submit, respect, obey, all of those words, can I look them square in the face and ask, "How do they apply to me as a woman?" and can I embrace that? Or do I say, "No, it's too scary." Fear is a huge thing in the lives of women, because as women, we are often in vulnerable positions. It's the man who is to be the leader, even in the area of dating for younger women. We want to be called on the phone, we want to be asked out, we want to be pursued. In marriage, we want our husband to lead us. We don't want to take the leadership and have him stay at home and have him fix the meals and we go out to be the big earner. Generally speaking, we don't want to and I don't think the Bible holds that up as a worthy model. So, in a way, we have to wait and be patient. It's in that waiting and patience for godly male leadership—for us to affirm and receive and nurture—it's in that waiting that we get kind of scared.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the interview on Monday.