Q&A with Jani Ortlund, Part 2

Jani Ortlund is a mother, pastor's wife and former school teacher. She is also the author of Fearlessly Feminine: Boldly Living God's Plan for Womanhood. Gender Blog recently sat down and interviewed her on issues of femininity and biblical womanhood. Her husband, Ray Ortlund, Jr., is a noted pastor and author. The Ortlunds live in Nashville, where Ray serves as pastor of Immanuel Church.

Gender Blog: How would encourage mothers to teach biblical femininity to their daughters? How about mothers who have daughters who are at different stages (young children or about to graduate from high school)?

Jani Ortlund: The main thing is for a mother to enjoy their own femininity. I think it's something that we feel. If a dad expressed to his son how much he hates leaving home every day and going to work, how much he dislikes having to be out there earning money and how much he dislikes coming home and leading the family, the son would pick up on that. It's the same way with a daughter. It is also good for sons to see a mother who enjoys being a woman, who embraces it, who says, "God made me a woman and I get to be your mother and I am so thrilled. I get to be with you here every day and see you grown and develop, learning to speak and walk...I am so glad that I am the one who gets to make a home for you to come home to after you've been at school or after we've done our lessons, if you're a homeschooler." That almost inarticulate joy in doing what God has called you to do helps children to relax. They sense that mommy is happy and she is happy for a reason. That doesn't mean that you don't get exhausted. I had four little children under the age of seven and it was exhausting. One of the ways that a mother can communicate this to her daughter is living in joy, accepting from God His role for us as women and making the most of it because it is so great. We get to be the ones that are there day to day with our little ones. We get to be the ones that make a home for them, teaching them about God—building a home that says "God's Word will reign here. We will be kind to one another, we will not lie, we will honor each other's possessions, we will be life givers to each other, we will honor the Sabbath day—Sunday will be a special day here." It is the mother who often sets that tone with guidance, support and encouragement from daddy. But as a daughter grows up seeing her mother do that, she absorbs that joy, and that joy I believe most often becomes her own.

GB: How would you encourage single women, maybe those who hope to be married someday, to embrace femininity in their current stage of life?

Ortlund: I would encourage them to keep going back to God, who made them women and who understands their desire to want to be married. It is a godly desire to want to be married. I think the reason women want to be married is they want to create something; it is very God-like to create something. We want to create a home, a family, we want to build something. That is very much like God...But just as it is wrong for a married women to place all her hope and desire in something, be it a different husband, successful children, money, whatever, it is also wrong for a single woman to place all her hope and rest—her soul's satisfaction—in finding a mate. Psalm 62:1 says, "My soul finds rest in God alone." And that's true whether you are single or married...I think a single woman fulfills her call to be feminine in the same way as does a married woman: coming to God and saying, "God, you made me a woman and you have a purpose for me as a woman. This time in this day into which you have placed me, help me to fulfill it. Maybe it will be to support myself; help me to be feminine as I support myself; maybe I'll be single until I see you face to face, help me to be the most feminine single woman until I see you. Help me to embrace what it means to be a woman, single or married." Marriage doesn't define our femininity, God does. We can still receive, affirm and nurture as single women.

Come back tomorrow for the final installment of this interview with Mrs. Ortlund.