More Women Living Without a Husband

The New York Times recently reported a profound statistic that bespeaks of a sad state of affairs with regard to traditional marriage: more American women are now living without a husband than with one.

The Times analyzed census data and found that in 2005, 49 percent of American women are living with a husband, compared with 51 percent without. The upshot? Married couples as a whole now represent a minority of American households. In seeking to establish a possible cause for the trend, the Times theorized that cohabitation with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a reality it points out that was once shunned as "living in sin," is now "a rite of passage for many 20-somethings." It does not take a cultural expert to validate that statement as fact. The Times report continues, "At one end of the spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay marriage."

Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com points out the Times' evidence suggests that women on either side of the spectrum "are finding it easier—at times even enjoyable—to spend time alone."  Clark-Flory recounts a "Chicken Soup for the Single Soul" moment while reading the article in which a divorced women turned down the proposal of a man because she was "just beginning to fly...just beginning to be me," telling her suitor "Don't take that away." Interestingly, Clark-Flory denounces those who see marriage as required for a woman to have a fulfilling life, but then admits, "It's also disheartening that some see legal unions as necessarily sapping one's individuality."

While her concern over the view that says "marriage saps one's individuality" is commendable, our concern over this disturbing trend should be much deeper. Some, indeed, are called to singleness for effective kingdom service, but delaying marriage simply to pursue one's individuality is a choice that undermines the Gospel.

God has created men and women for each other and He has created them to unite in one flesh in a way that pictures the Gospel, Christ's love for His church and a believer's union with Christ. When women or men are living self-focused, "lone wolf" lives, it robs God of His glory as seen in the beautiful covenant union of male and female and denigrates the body of Christ which is a community of persons living in selfless communion with one another—not as individuals who are "just beginning to fly."

Let us pray that God brings revival to the local churches to our land, that this trend begins to go the other way and Christ's love for His church is put on display more and more as we await His return.