Gospel-Powered Parenting an Expert Manual on Raising Christ-Centered Kids

Over the years, as my wife and I have sought God's wisdom in raising our four children, two things have become abundantly evident to us: it is a profoundly difficult task and the Gospel must be foundational in our home if we are going to succeed at any measurable level. We have been blessed to have many godly guides over the years in the form of excellent books, and William P. Farley has just given us a brand-new one - Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting (P&R).

As the title indicates, Farley's work seeks to show how the Gospel provides the strong foundation upon which the superstructure of parenting is to be built. While there are truck loads of books on parenting available, Farley's work includes some unique aspects that make it a "must read" for dads and moms who want to build Gospel-centered homes. One major note that sounds throughout the book is grace-centered parenting vs. legalism. Farley promotes a grace-centric approach to parenting that takes an offensive, non-isolationist posture in preparing children for life in a fallen world. A Gospel-centered home is as much a staging ground for battle as it is a fortress, Farley argues:

Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world. A defensive mind-set worries about the evil influences of Halloween, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or non-Christians on the Little League team. Although parenting always involves some protection, this should not be the main focus for biblical parents. Often this defensive mentality is the fruit of legalism. The legalistic parent usually assumes that his or her children are born again. But this parent has little confidence in the power of the new birth. Therefore, parenting is all about protecting the children from evil outside influence. This approach can be deadly.

Farley also emphasizes the crucial role that fathers play in raising children and he spends four central chapters on fatherhood and the Gospel. To postmodern ears, Farley's emphasis upon patriarchy may sound provocative and Neanderthal-like, but his arguments are compelling and uncompromisingly biblical. The bottom line is both fathers and mothers are vitally important to healthy families, but God places the heaviest responsibility in raising children upon the shoulders of dad.

Throughout Scripture, fathers are the parents, and their wives are their assistants. The wife is a crucial assistant. Parenting is a team sport. It is very hard to do alone. But in a two-parent family, Dad is the chief parent, the one accountable to God for his family. Mom is there to assist him. Western culture used to assume this arrangement. Before 1830, virtually every manual on parenting was addressed to fathers...Why did previous generations assume the father's lead role? Because culture assumed that the Bible was the primary instruction manual for parents, and the Bible addressed its parenting instructions not to mothers, but to fathers! The unstated assumption in the modern evangelical church is the opposite: Mom is the chief parent, and Dad is her assistant.

The concluding chapters examine discipline, teaching children and loving your children-all with the Gospel as the center of gravity. Overall, Farley proves to be an excellent guide for those of us who are raising children and who are desperately in need of the Gospel as our own daily treasure and as a "how to" guide. Gospel-Powered Parenting is cross-centered, counter-cultural and Scripture-saturated. I enthusiastically commend it to every parent.