A Blueprint for Manhood, Part 3: Maturity, Singleness, and the Legacy Every Man Can Leave

Later manhood: In accordance with Genesis 2:24, a young man seeks a wife, and then seeks to build a family, believing firmly and counter-culturally (in many instances) that children, and, if possible, many of them, are a blessing from the Lord, a "reward from Him" (Psalm 127:3).  Though couples may take a little time to develop healthy marriages, children should not be avoided as an obstacle but should be pursued, though such a decision may make life tougher than it otherwise would be.  In order to honor the Lord by filling his quiver, the man must take the burden of provision for the family squarely upon his shoulders. Though this may be difficult at times, he is doing what he is called to do (see 1 Tim. 5:8 and Titus 2 for starters). If he has to work two jobs, or pull a night shift, or miss out on sports, or read less books, or make less friends, that is fine. His life is hard, but it is more importantly well-pleasing to the Lord.

The man leads his wife in worshiping the Lord. Some men will have more to say than others, but all men can read the Bible with their wives, pray with them, and talk with them about the Bible's teaching and application to life. Men who do not have a great deal of confidence in their scriptural knowledge can consult their pastors or elders for books to work through with their wives. In the same vein, men will seek to disciple their children when of sufficient age. The man will set an excellent tone for church involvement and attendance and will serve the church joyfully in whatever ways he can. He should exhibit a palpable excitement over the things of the Lord, should evangelize when possible (and train his children to do so), and should exude strong Christian character in conformity with the image of Christ.

The man will also seek to be a contributing member of society, being a righteous, helpful presence in his community, his neighborhood, his children's schools (if they go to schools), their sports teams, and other activities. He may struggle to be as involved as his wife, for he may have to work hard and long to provide for his family, but he will do so knowing that he is freeing up his wife to serve and care for her children, her home, and her church.  The man must constantly remind himself of the fact that in shaping the lives of his children for the glory of God, he is doing something far, far more significant than mere entertainment or pastimes can provide. He is building a family, leaving a legacy for his Lord, entering into intense spiritual and physical and emotional work, bypassing the mere momentary things of this world in pursuit of something greater.

Singleness: As we know from 1 Corinthians 7, singleness is by no means a substandard calling. It is a high calling. The blueprint I've sketched out captures what most men are called to do-to marry and have a family. For men called to singleness, however, the aspects of manhood that relate to marriage and family in this blueprint will not apply (though many others will!). Single Christian men have a unique and wonderful opportunity to care less about the things of this world, by which I mean things not related to marriage and family. In particular, single Christian men can, I would argue by way of 1 Corinthians 7, spend great amounts of time discipling young Christians, evangelizing unbelievers, and serving their churches. This is an awesome responsibility, and it will involve a great deal of effort and energy and labor. There may be lonely times, but the single Christian man, if he embraces the biblical vision of singlehood and not the cultural one, can very much be a man for others.

Conclusion: I have attempted to use the application of certain biblical teachings, wisdom, and the counsel of the church in offering a humble little sketch of Christian manhood.  All Christians—and all people—will, whether they realize it or not, provide such a blueprint.  Even the absence of a blueprint for manhood is itself a blueprint, after all.  Whatever one comes up with, though, the key idea here is this: whether singleness or marriage is his calling, a man is to live for others. He is to embrace responsibility, to stand as a spiritual tower, and to point all around him to the gospel. As he lives for Christ, the ultimate Other, he will naturally bring grace and goodness to all around him, making him a man who truly lives not for himself, but for others, to the greater glory of God.