Fathers, have you had "the talk" with your son?
Jeff Robinson
November 29, 2011
[NOTE: Below is a post on Steve Zollo's new book on raising sons that was originally published on Justin Taylor's blog. Gender Blog will have a fuller review of the book later this month].
Steve Zollos's new book, Time for the Talk: Leading Your Son into True Manhood (Shepherd's Press), looks like a very helpful resource.
From the preface to dads of young boys:
In daily conversation, "The Talk" is usually polite shorthand for "telling children where babies come from." Here, however, I give the phrase a big promotion and a much more significant job description. Let me explain.
This book is written to you, the father of a young son. It is built on the conviction that raising your son is really no big deal . . . unless you plan on him becoming humble, courageous, morally pure, faithful, selfless, and self-controlled: in other words, a godly young man. To get there your son will need a lot of help, and you, as his father, are certainly the best man for the job.
Through "The Talk," as I define it in this book, you will help your son learn to trust in the Lord, and not his own understanding. You will open a channel of communication based on truth and love that will endure for life. You will talk directly to him-and with him-about difficult subjects you two have probably never ventured to discuss before. If done in the encouraging way I suggest, you will become a trusted confidant-his lifelong friend.
If this doesn't sound easy, you're right. In fact, if you haven't tried it, it's probably harder than you think. That's why I wrote this book. Within these pages I have made every attempt to integrate the truth of Scripture into the process and the topics associated with "The Talk." Having "The Talk" with your son will require prayer, patience, and your own willingness to change.
Think about that for a moment. Unless you are a very rare breed of father, this book is going to suggest that you need to alter certain ways of thinking and living. To serve your son the way you need to, to help him become the man God wants him to be, you are going to have to change. That's what you're signing up for here. Your son is getting older every day and, as I suggest throughout this book, it's best if you can begin The Talk when he is about ten or eleven, or as soon thereafter as possible. Are you ready to help him? Are you ready to change?
You can download a PDF of the table of contents, the preface for dads, the preface for moms, and a couple of chapters.
New Campaign calls men to "Man Up"
Jeff Robinson
November 21, 2011
Justin Taylor reports on an encouraging new campaign aimed at the problem of cultural confusion over genuine manhood (It particularly targets the inner city) in the post below. While the music in the video may not suit all of our tastes (I'm more inclined toward Merle Haggard than Eminem), the aim of this effort is commendable and noteworthy.
From Justin Taylor:
Over 20 years John Piper lamented: Little help is being given to a son's question, "Dad, what does it mean to be a man and not a woman?"
It's easy to be discouraged about this rampant confusion in our culture (and in our churches), and it's easy to worry deeply about the ongoing crisis of absentee fathers and delayed (or perpetual) adolescence.
But I'm encourage by the new "Man Up" campaign by ReachLife Ministries and Reach Records.
Even if this isn't your "kind of music," maybe you'd consider stopping and praying for a moment that God would use these gospel-centered brothers to make a real difference in helping a lost and hurting generation-especially in the urban context-discover what it means to be a real man in Christ.
You can go get an MP3 for the "Man Up Anthem," and watch the video.
Below is a more detailed explanation of this campaign from the Man Up website:
THE PROBLEM
There's an ongoing war within urban culture. Confusion over what manhood is has plagued our cities, families and lives. The concept of a biblical man has been lost in our generation. Unfortunately, many churches struggle to provide its urban members, much less those beyond their walls, with a tangible definition of a real man.
THE CAMPAIGN
In partnership with ReachLife Ministries and Reach Records, Man Up is a new campaign, calling men in the hip-hop culture to true biblical manhood through repentance and faith in Christ.
The campaign consists of a short film, small group curriculum, music soundtrack and concert series. It is our call for men in urban culture to repent for their failure to become the men that God has created them to be and for believers to live as who they truly are in Christ.
THE SHORT FILM & CURRICULUM
The short film takes a look at six different areas of manhood that young men fail to live up to. By taking a look at the common challenges and responses of young men in urban culture, we hope to reveal the need for clarity on what being a man truly means.
A curriculum is also available through ReachLife Ministries to accompany the short film and promote further discussion in small group settings.
THE SOUNDTRACK & CONCERT SERIES
The soundtrack of Man UP is from Reach Records and delves into the concepts addressed in the film and curriculum. Later this year, audiences can experience a showing of the film, a panel discussion on manhood, and a live concert as the Man Up concert series makes stops in select cities.
It is our hope that men everywhere will answer the call to Man Up!
Mark Chanski: Play Your Position
Kim Campbell
November 16, 2011
A retired soccer coach talks to women. It was a pep talk, a halftime hoorah speech.
Mark Chanski spoke last night at Mount Hermon Missionary Baptist Church in Rocky Mount, NC. I went to hear him after reading some of both of his books, Manly Dominion and Womanly Dominion during my years at SBTS. I also wanted to go because I've recently been married so I wanted to be encouraged in my now-role as wife and helpmeet.
Mark Chanski is a husband, father, and pastor in Holland, MI. He writes from three decades worth of husband-experience and shares his discernments from God's Word in both of his books.
1. Play Your Position
2. Win It!
Those were both of his exhortations to us ladies (ranging from 11-80ish). (Side note: I was very thankful to see females from every age group. True Titus 2 living!) Pastor Mark would spend the next 45 minutes broadening his meaning of these two coach's screams.
Womanly Dominion Culturally Challenged.
The Word of God is true and unchanging, living and active. So, why would we think God's commands and prescriptions for us as females would not come under attack by a world that doesn't consider truth to be absolute? The serpent under-minded God's spoken word in Genesis when he confronted Eve's understanding of God's goodness. The serpent still undermines God's truth today. But, God's Word stands firm and will never fail.
The culture around us wants to challenge our personal intensity. No matter the age - we will be bombarded with problems in this area:
In high school, we will be challenge by either extreme: set our minds and focus on the best GPA possible (at the cost of all other objectives) or to slouch and not do our best. We will be tempted to not pursue callings and gifts that we have because the world will tell us that they are not a worthy cause.
In college, we may be tempted by a professor to pursue a PhD (which is not evil in its own merit) to the dismissal of marriage, which is obviously a patriachal institution.
As single women, we will be tempted to go forward in relationships that aren't pleasing to the Lord or to be the pursuer in relationships - not willing to wait on God's perfect timing in His giving us all good gifts (Romans 8:32).
As married women, we will be tempted to run hard after everything we can, forgetting we are called to be a helper suitable to our mates, a wife of a husband. We will be tempted to have our homes live up to the latest Pinterest home or Pottery Barn catalogue.
Chanski encouraged us no matter the assignment in life - to be tough minded, sober-minded in that and fulfill our assignment with excellence.
We will also hear the world questioning the positional authority God has given to us. We need to be firm where God has assigned us and not let the world and all of its lies lead us astray. God has called each of us to where we are. It might change (like mine just did, more on that later), but God never changes. Listen for His voice.
Womanly Dominion Scripturally Expounded. Mark stayed in two verses for the evening: Genesis 1:27-28.
Domination. Since we have been created in the image of God, that is a given statement, we are to be like him. In these verses, we are to be like him in our "bringing into bondage" the earth. Subdue the earth, work the earth. Before God spoke the world into creation - the earth was without form and void. Since creation, it has order and design. We are to not let our "given assignments" be chaotic or out of control. That is not how we are to be like God, mirroring and imaging our Creator.
Procreation. Through childbearing - we women (men can't have babies, deliver babies - though we need them in the process) - we get to participate in salvation. We get to have children that will help populate the earth who will be part of the throng around the throne from every tribe, tongue, and nation. After the Fall, Eve's "punishment" came in the form of pain during childbearing. I was reading this morning that even though there is pain, motherhood is still worth it (and I'm looking forward to having the opportunity one day). In the focal verses: we are giving the command and sacred focus on filling the earth. What questions does that raise? How many childrend should one couple have? Should you/must you adopt? What about sexual protection from pregnancy or medical help to seek out infertitlity. This one verse touches on so many familial and birth ethics in today's society.
Position. Chanski affirmed our sameness in essence with men. We are not higher or lower - we have just been given a different position. He spoke briefly on the Trinity and how their positions in the Godhead give us great insight into our position as women - same in being, different in position. To see more on that topic, see Bruce Ware's book: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. We are not to be androginous which society would like us to lean toward: women in battle, women playing men's sports, men wearing skinny jeans or wearing earrings, parents raising their children "sexless" until they can determine what they want to be. We see it. This denial of the truth of sexuality. There is diversity in function in the created sexual genders. God has a beautiful plan for males and females. He does all for His glory.
So, in a nut shell: know and play your position. Don't assume your position. Know it. Trust it. Make sure it lines up with the Word of God. Then, play your position with all your might as unto the Lord and not unto men.
Here are my take home moments. My encouragement from my husband was to listen for the Shepherd's voice.
1. Assignment. As we have been studying 1 Corinthians 7 this week in home fellowship group, I have been thinking about my current assignment. It has changed. I am not a wife, a helper (hopefully) suitable to E. That is my primary role that God has given me. How is it different from being a single living to the glory of God. Being a wife living for the glory of God is quite different. My brain goes a million miles a minute imagining the judgment and expectations from those around me. I need to listen to the Word, listen to E, and listen to wise counsel around me (and not the voices in my head).
2. A new book that I'll be reading is Excellence by Kostenberger. I'm very much looking forward to the hard read. And that was Chanski's whole entire second point - Win it! Play your position with excellence. So...how do I keep my home with excellence? How do I love and serve my husband with excellence? How will my relationships with friends change but still be lived with excellence?
3. My only caution: women - don't focus too much on the domination. When I think of the word domination I think of ego, power, complete control, mean-spirited, take over. While E has given me "domination" over the keep of the home (meaning, he tells me the home is my domain), he is meaning that to be a blessing. So, while I have complete "domination" over the menu each week, that doesn't mean I should fail to get his imput. That domination needs to still be lived out under our husband's authority and the grace of God.
Play your position and win it!
Announcing: True Woman 101
Mary Kassian
November 9, 2011
[NOTE: The following exciting announcement comes from Mary Kassian and True Woman.]
True Woman 101 "Divine Design" Bible Study - Coming Soon!
click to download True Woman 101 Sampler
Whether it's designer handbags, fashions, frames, or décor . . . women tend to gravitate toward designer brands because they're the highest quality. They're often the most attractive and beautiful. They're authentic. They're true to the designer's exquisite specifications.
Did you know that God has a divine design for True Womanhood? His plan is absolutely spectacular! If you're tired of the world's cheap imitations and knock-offs-or if you're tired of clichéd advice, shallow caricatures, and cookie-cutter solutions-then this eight-week Bible study with foundational teaching and insight from God's Word by Mary A. Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss is for you!
Thousands are tossing the world's brand of womanhood and joining a quiet counter-Revolution. Find out why. Grab some girlfriends. Dig into the heart of true manhood and womanhood, and discover the beauty, joy, and fulfillment of being exactly who He created you to be. Best of all, learn how your life can put Christ and the gospel on display!
Male call: The cultural decline of men
Jeff Robinson
November 4, 2011
It is an excellent piece of analysis on an issue that has risen to the place of front and center in the twenty-first century discussion of biblical manhood and womanhood: delayed adolescence.
The article is available here:
