A Massachusetts second-grade teacher is being criticized for reading a book about "gay marriage" to her students, and conservatives say it is an example of what happens when a state redefines one of society's most important institutions.

The teacher at Joseph Estabrook Elementary School in Lexington, Mass., read to her class "King & King" -- a colorful 29-page children's book in which a prince searches for a wife, only in the end to choose another prince. The story ends with the two princes "marrying" and living "happily ever after." On the last page, the princes -- now kings -- even share a kiss.

Massachusetts remains the only state with legalized "gay marriage." The school superintendent is standing behind the teacher, saying the book is another way to teach the children diversity.

"We couldn't run a public school system if every parent who feels some topic is objectionable to them for moral or religious reasons decides their child should be removed," Lexington Superintendent of Schools Paul Ash told The Boston Globe. "Lexington is committed to teaching children about the world they live in, and in Massachusetts same-sex marriage is legal."

But some parents are outraged.

"My son is only 7 years old," Lexington parent Robin Wirthlin told the newspaper. "By presenting this kind of issue at such a young age, they're trying to indoctrinate our children. They're intentionally presenting this as a norm, and it's not a value that our family supports."

Joseph Estabrook School has about 450 students in kindergarten through fifth grade.

Kris Mineau, president of the conservative Massachusetts Family Institute, said the incident should serve as a wake-up call to those who are indifferent to "gay marriage" and believe it won't affect society.

"We have always maintained that the very first level of impact would be in the public school system, where children would be taught morals that are counter to the morals that parents want them to be taught. Taxpayer money should never be used to put children at odds with their parents.

"If I have children in my family, same-sex marriage immediately affects me."

Mineau said he has "some anecdotal evidence" that other Massachusetts schools are teaching children about "gay marriage," although the Lexington school, he said, has been at the top of the list. Early last year the same school was the source of another controversy after giving kindergarten students a "diversity book bag" that included a children's book titled "Who's In a Family," which features illustrations of homosexual parents.

"There is no doubt that the Lexington school officials have an agenda, and that agenda is to indoctrinate children into homosexuality and same-sex marriage," said Mineau, who is leading an effort to amend the state constitution and reverse the state's "gay marriage" law. "Needless to say, parents in Lexington are aroused over this issue, and they should be."

One conservative Massachusetts organization, the Parents Right Coalition, is fighting for a state bill that would allow parents to opt their children out of discussions over homosexuality.

Walk into the average evangelical church in America, and you will likely sing lyrics such as "I want my life to be a love song for you, Jesus" and "I want to fall in love with you."

Then you might hear a sermon encouraging Christians to be "intimate" with Jesus and attend a "care group" where everyone is expected to share their feelings.

Such tactics might appeal to women, but they are at least partially unbiblical and push men away from Christianity, according to Randy Stinson, executive director of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) and assistant professor of gender and family studies at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (SBTS).

"Where are the men in our churches today?" Stinson said in a lecture sponsored by the SBTS theology school council March 29. "We have a crisis going on in the local church. Number one, men aren’t coming. And number two, when they are coming, they’ve marginalized, they’re being passive, they’re being pushed to the side."

The current feminization of Christianity reflects a larger trend in pop culture where women are pushed to be more masculine and men are pushed to be more feminine, he said.

The culture tells men, "We’re sorry God made you that way. But hang on. We’re going to fix you. And with enough therapy and enough counseling, we’re going to soften you up," he said.

As churches are influenced by the notion that men need to be softer and more feminine, they may use sensual language improperly to talk about the relationship a man should have with Jesus, referring to an individual man as "the bride of Christ," Stinson noted.

"It was not meant to be that way," he said. "I do not relate to Christ as a bride individually. It’s collective language. When the Bible talks about the bride of Christ, it’s the church collectively. We don’t relate to Christ individually as a bride. When we introduce this individualized language, we begin to romanticize the language."

Worship songs are some of the most common venues where romantic language is abused and makes men feel uncomfortable, Stinson said.

"Loving God is biblical, but falling in love with Jesus is a contemporary, romanticized view of the relationship between people and Christ," he said. "Men should not be made to feel that having a relationship with Christ means that you have to check your masculinity at the door."

To remedy the feminizing of Christianity, Stinson recommended several correctives:

Pastors must exercise assertive male leadership to guide their churches away from a feminized Christianity. "Servant leadership doesn’t mean that you never assert yourself," he said. "Servant leadership doesn’t mean that you don’t give directional lead to the thing that you’re leading. Servant leadership means you do it for the good of the group or the individual that you’re leading."

Churches must purposefully appeal to men. If churches will use language that does not scare men away and offer discipleship activities that do not stress emotions and sharing feelings, men will be more likely to participate in church life, Stinson said.

"Men generally do not emote," he said. "They generally do not verbalize all their feelings. And this is not a bad thing. Men do relate differently, but they shouldn’t have to change all that in order to be a success in the local church. Too many men are being made to feel that they have to check their masculinity at the door."

Let men lead like men in the church. "We put men in leadership positions (in the church)," he said. "Then we require them to meet to death. … Men don’t want to do that. Men who are capable leaders in the secular world don’t meet to death. They get stuff done. They are clear. They are direct."

Challenge men in evangelism and missions. "Take some challenging mission trips," Stinson said. "Take care of widows and orphans at home. Have a compelling ministry to boys without fathers. Let men get involved in these things that make a difference, that actually challenge them, that take a risk."

When men understand the biblical picture of Jesus and take risks for the gospel, they will be more excited about their faith and their churches will be healthier, he said.

"When you take a clear look at the life of Jesus, you’ll discover that He’s not much like our modern-day depictions of Him," he said.

Those interested in the biblical teachings on manhood and womanhood have two additional web resources that offer insight into gender issues from a complementarian perspective.

The scholarly works of New Testament professors Thomas R. Schreiner and Andreas J. Kostenberger are available on their respective websites. Both sites include articles on numerous biblical issues including those related to gender.

Schreiner serves as professor of New Testament interpretation at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky. He is author of various books and articles, including Women in the Church: A Fresh Analysis of 1 Timothy 2:9-15 (2nd ed., Baker, 2005), which he co-edited with Kostenberger. Schreiner’s site may be accessed at www.sbts.edu/academics/theology/faculty/SchreinerThomas.php.

Gender-related articles on Schreiner’s site include a review of William Webb’s book Women, Slaves, and Homosexuals, an article on the valuable ministries of women in the church, and more.

Kostenberger serves as professor of New Testament at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, N.C. He also serves as editor of the Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society and is author of numerous books including God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation. Kostenberger’s site "Biblical Foundations," may be accessed at www.biblicalfoundations.org.

Articles on Kostenberger’s site include writings on the apostle Paul and his teaching on headship, along with numerous pieces on gender roles in the home and in the church.

The essence of the male-female relationship is found in the "blessed alliance" God has ordained in the early chapters of Genesis which sees them working together carrying out the cultural mandate, Carolyn Custis James told a group of students at the annual Kaleo Conference Feb. 10-11 at Covenant College.

Calling it "a picture of marriage that is truly glorious," James said this alliance arises out of the creation story and answers the question "Why was it not good that man be alone?"

The "blessed alliance" consists in the woman’s calling as a warrior to help the man carry out the cultural mandate that God gave Adam and Eve in Genesis 2, Mrs. James said. The key to fully understanding a woman’s calling is the Hebrew term "ezer" in Genesis 2:18—usually translated as "helper," she said.

"Ezer" is sometimes used in the Old Testament to depict God as a warrior, thus, Adam’s "helper" is most fully understood as a warrior who is fighting alongside him to fulfill the cultural mandate, Mrs. James says. To interpret the woman’s role as merely a "helper" is reductionistic, demeans the man, and leads to a loss of recognition of the unique giftedness of women, she said.

"If I were a man I would be offended by the way we talk about the man in creation," she said. "If we understand that men are [merely] to provide and protect the woman, it is just making more work for the man."

James says the Garden of Eden was a war zone and so the man and woman were co-warriors fighting together to subdue the creation. This gives contemporary men and women a template for their roles, she said.

"The first team God calls before the fall is man and woman," she said.

A major part of the "warrior" role of a woman is that she is to be a theologian, Mrs. James said. This role as a theologian is a major aspect of a Christian woman’s identity, she said.

Randy Stinson, executive director of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood agrees that post-Fall humans are certainly in a battle. But prior to the Fall, Eden was not a war zone and thus there would be no use for warrior terminology.

"The fact is that the warrior concept does not reflect the meaning of the Hebrew word, ezer," Stinson said. "Mrs. James may claim that part of the application of the helper role of the female is to fight the battle against sin alongside of her husband, but there is no indicator here, or anywhere else, that the idea of a woman warrior should constitute the "essence" of womanhood.

"The concept of theologian is in the same category. No one would disagree that women and men should be theologically minded, and that if women are going to be adequate helpers of their husbands, they should be able to think theologically. But as in the instance of warrior, there is no indicator here or anywhere else that this should constitute the ‘essence’ of womanhood.

"This just seems to confuse categories and obscure the real issue here which centers on the lack of a clear statement regarding the biblical roles of men and women. I am not sure how this lack of clarity serves the church at this crucial time of gender confusion."

If the blessed alliance is understood to be that which orients the compass of Christians, then women will be "unleashed" to use their gifts more widely within the church, Mrs. James said. James says women across her denomination—the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA—desire greater capacities for ministry within the church.

"Women never talk to me about being ordained as elders," she said. "What they want is to use these gifts that God has given them . . . they are supportive of their church leaders."

In her encounters with PCA women, Mrs. James identified four common areas of concern regarding the state of women in the denomination.

According to Mrs. James:

While there may be isolated incidents in which women are denied service in areas Scripture opens for them, Stinson says he is skeptical that the PCA is purposefully subverting women in the use of their gifts.

"While I am not a member of the PCA I do not believe for a minute that there is any institutional degradation of women," Stinson said.

"I am sure that there are some individual churches that may have unduly restricted women from biblically sanctioned areas of service, but this is not a widespread problem. Why would a woman feel "benched" by serving other women and teaching children?

"How exactly is the PCA failing to deal with the issue of women’s giftedness? Why mention that these women have MBA degrees and business experience, and that they are physicians and lawyers?

"Is someone prohibiting them from offering free prenatal care to expectant mothers in poverty?  Is someone keeping them from offering legal services to abused women or the local crisis pregnancy center?  Has someone told them that they cannot help to balance the books at the local Christian homeless shelter? Is the anecdotal evidence (women accused of being gossips and prohibitions against handing out bulletins) used by Mrs. James truly representative of a widespread problem?"

Mrs. James said the church is suffering spiritually because it lacks a clear vision of the blessed alliance. At least three things are at stake with the blessed alliance, she said.

First, Mrs. James said, is the issue of stewardship. God has given gifts to both men and women and both genders sense a burden to use them to serve the local church. However, while she was unclear as to how the particulars would work out, Mrs. James said women she has encountered want to do more than teach other women and children.

"Not everybody is gifted to do that," she said. "It is a serious matter to Jesus Christ for women to bury their talents in the ground…The Great Commission falls on the shoulders of women too…One parish minister told me that he will stand before Jesus and give an account for why [he] didn’t allow everybody to use their gifts."

Second, Mrs. James said ecclesiology—the doctrine of the church—is undermined when women do not use their gifts broadly in the church. She pointed to the biblical metaphor of the body in describing the church, "the body of Christ."

"The body of Christ looks like it has had a stroke," she said. "Half of the body is functioning, but half is being dragged along behind. That’s not a healthy body."

Third, Mrs. James said the church doesn’t realize how much it is losing when women are not free to employ their gifts.

While men and women should both employ their gifts for the service of the church, still, clarity is needed as to precisely how those gifts must be used within the local church, Stinson said.

"To declare that the body of Christ looks like it had a stroke is serious indeed," Stinson said. "Yet such serious accusations demand serious solutions. All of this talk about unleashing women, the cloud of the PCA, the dissatisfaction with mere women and children’s ministry, make me suspicious that the freedom ‘to employ gifts’ involves something beyond the standard parameters of complementarianism."

Even in a postmodern, post-polite culture, men often open doors for women in public. In much the same way, they need to swing open the doors for women to have increased levels of ministry in the church, author and speaker Carolyn Custis James told attendees of the annual Kaleo Conference, held Feb. 10-11 at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Ga.

Mrs. James, author of When Life and Beliefs Collide (Zondervan, 2002) and Lost Women of the Bible (Zondervan, 2005) and president of Whitby Forum, said woman are shackled from the full use of their ministerial gifts by a blueprint that the church has imposed upon them both in her denomination—the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA)—and in evangelicalism as a whole.

The blueprint, Mrs. James says, includes two pictures of women, one positive and one negative; it has depicted women negatively as a temptress and positively as a mother and wife. Though women are called to be godly wives and mothers, their callings are not limited to those roles, she said. Nor are women’s gifts limited solely to ministering to other women in the church, Mrs. James asserted.

"The stewardship of women’s gifts is a huge issue we cannot avoid," she said. "It is a serious matter to Jesus when talents are buried in the ground. But an equally important issue is the simple fact that both men and women need the spiritual ministries women offer.

"God has equipped women to edify and build up his church too. I daresay that as women exercise their gifts in new ways, PCA men will echo the words of Jesus and say, ‘She has done a beautiful thing to me.’"

Randy Stinson, executive director of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW), expresses concern about Mrs. James’ nebulous assertion that women are to exercise their gifts in new ways.

"I would be interested to know specifically what these ‘new ways’ are," Stinson said. "We are certainly glad that someone is addressing the issue of empowering women to use their God-given gifts in the church and fully support that biblical idea.

"However, there is a clear complementary framework within the fabric of Scripture that must serve as the foundation for the way in which both men and women use those gifts in the church. God’s Word has given us much clear guidance on this and we must not move beyond it."

Carolyn and husband Frank James, president of Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Fla., were keynote speakers of the conference. Mrs. James specifically addressed the situation of gender roles in the church as it relates to Covenant College’s parent denomination, the PCA.

In response to a question following her presentation, Mrs. James agreed with a young female student that the discussion over gender roles in the church is often stifled or guarded due to fear in both men and women.

"Men are afraid they will lose their male authority," Mrs. James said, "or women are afraid they will be seen as ‘bad.’ What I see as the ‘blessed alliance’ between men and women doesn’t diminish men at all."

The PCA holds to the biblical teaching that limits the ordination of elders to men only, a teaching with which Mrs. James expresses agreement. However, there remain plenty of untapped opportunities for women to work in the church, she said.

"The PCA’s position on the matter of women’s ordination is firm, clear, and defended by Scripture," she said. "But this position still leaves plenty of room for the PCA to build a reputation as the denomination where women’s gifts are embraced, fully utilized and publicly affirmed as vital to the health of the Body of Christ.

"There is still opportunity for us to think of substantial ways to incorporate women into the full life of the church and to brainstorm new ministry vocations for women in our congregations. An encouraging precedent has already been set by the fact that some of the brightest lights in the PCA galaxy are female theologians."

Mrs. James named conference speaker Joni Eareckson Tada and authors Nancy Pearcey and Susan Hunt as examples of female theologians who are making a major impact on the PCA as well as the broader evangelical world.

"Women like these should not be exceptions, but role models for other PCA women," Mrs. James said. "The PCA is rightly proud of their achievements and our denomination benefits from their wisdom. They, in turn, cast a vision for what is possible as we contemplate the other gifted women theologians God has entrusted to us."

Stinson applauds the ministry of women such as Eareckson, Pearcey, and Hunt (Hunt serves enthusiastically as a CBMW council member), but says there must be a greater degree of biblical clarity regarding the ministries that women are to carry out within the church.

"My concern is that while Mrs. James notes the position of the PCA she does not clarify whether or not, or to what extent, she is in agreement with that position or its basis. She indicates that women are to be `unleashed’ and that the church has not fully utilized the gifts of women, but does not deal with what she thinks a corrective might look like.

"Further, regarding the gender discussions within evangelicalism, often things that go unsaid are just as problematic as things that are said. It does not seem responsible in today’s climate to call for an unleashing of women but then remain silent on the solution.

"While Mrs. James allows for the PCA’s position on ordination, the leading complementarian theologians both inside the PCA and without have said for many years that the real issue is function and content. In other words, this issue is not just about a biblical prohibition regarding ordination to an office but also about a Scriptural restriction on the function of authoritative teaching in the church.

"First Timothy 2:12 is dealing with the function of teaching and the exercise of authority, not simply prohibiting women from a title, status, or office and then telling them that they can’t have the office but they can perform the function. So, if Mrs. James wants to assert that women are not limited to teaching children and other women, then she will surely be anxious to explain specifically what other kinds of teaching ministries she is talking about and how they square with 1 Timothy 2:12."

Part two of CBMW’s two-part examination of James’ teaching will look at her assertion that the essence of biblical womanhood is the calling of the woman to be a warrior and a theologian within the‘blessed alliance’ between men and women God has ordained within creation to carry out the cultural mandate.